Confession #2

Before I get into the subject matter of this post, let me update you on the 5/7th-ing. We did get back on track this past weekend. Now, I am still in debt to God (talk about your understatements!), but it felt good to get back in line with our promise. More honoring a-coming this weekend. Then it gets tough - I'll address that in another post soon.

Oh - and sorry if I don't blog enough. I tend to do this at work, and we have been plain swamped. My total lack of organization skills doesn't help the situation, too. So if you have some organization skills to impart, I am all ears.

Ok - on to the guts of this. If you don't know, I have my original blog entitled Stupidity At Lightspeed. About what it sounds like - pretty dumb random thoughts and pathetic attempts at humor. Check it out if you like. Anyhow - I was mowing the lawn last night thinking of blog subjects when my mind ventured back onto the uproar about some racial pins and the Obama sockpuppet. Well, as I mulling that over in my mind, something very disturbing came to my mind -many years ago, I supported Bernie Epton. For those that may not recognize the name. Bernie ran for mayor of Chicago in the early 80's. As a Republican, he fell just 40k votes short of winning the mayor seat in one of the most Democratic cities in the US. He lost to the eventual mayor, Harold Washington.

Harold was black while Bernie was white. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I only supported Bernie cuz he was white.

Granted, I was too young at that time to vote, and I didn't even live in Chicago (like that stops Chicago voters), but that was wrong. So wrong of me. I got a couple "Epton for Mayor" stickers and wore them "proudly". As I look back, they were just labels of my ignorance. While I grew up very quickly and stopped seeing colors and started seeing people, I still have to remember that I thought so shallow at a younger age. There are times even today I don't think enough and make hurtful choices. While God forgives me, my decisions hurt those that He loves as well. And reconciling with them isn't so easy.

I have to remember that not only is God at work with me, I need to be at work with Him.

Fail.

Yes - that reads just like it reads. Fail.

F-A-I-L

As in I failed last week in honoring my commitment to God on the first day of the week with my first fruits. Heck - I didn't even Cain it last weekend. Nothing. Totally nothing.

The previous week or so, I made some major calculation error on the budget (mostly in my head). Next thing I knew, our bank account... well, it had a decent money number. It's just that there was a dash at the front of said number (and all the digits were red). When I received my pay last Friday, there were other important places that the little we had left had to go. So I had to make an executive decision, and that was to not write out our check this pay period. And I felt (and feel now even typing this) a little shamed. No one to blame but myself.

So I am now in debt to God. I hope his creditors don't call all hours of the night.


(And yes - I TOTALLY see the irony that I said "other important places" and not referring to God. What else could be important, huh?)