#%$@*& YOU, &^%@#*?{@!!!

I hate Community Christian Church. I hate my wife. I hate my kids. I hate John & Amy Ciesniewski. I hate Chris Brown. I hate Justin Forsythe. And even though I don't know you personally, I probably would hate you too. Now, before you grab your mental tomatoes (btw - I hate tomatoes), give me a chance to explain, you will see where I am headed with this.

Got a few more chapters into "Blue Like Jazz" (I really hate that book) and came to chapter 12 - Church [How I go without getting angry]. Kind of ironic I should read this chapter and hate just about everyone, but it happened. See, this chapter talks about finding a church that is right for you, whom I now hate. As we like to joke (when I am not busy hating), I am a recovering Catholic. I can tell you that I will continue using that joke, as it brings out a good chuckle, but I will say it without my usual undertones of dislike for the Catholic church. Years ago, during a tough time in our lives, we felt very shunned by the church we attended, as if we were diseased with out struggles. For a body that believed in God, we didn't felt that sense of "let us help", but more a "wow - you guys are pretty messed" and were handed off to others to discuss our problems. That really put in our minds that we just weren't happy there and needed a new place. We searched (As many of you probably have), and after a few, found CCC. And we have been quite happy since. We view God and Jesus in such a different way, and we do try to move more from a believing life to a relational life with God.

So - why my new found hatred of so many? Well, that cursed book said I shouldn't hold a grudge against any other church. God loves all his churches. God's other houses just weren't right for me. For someone else, that house is perfect. See - it's that part of me that hates everything. That part hates because that part knows that CCC, my wife, John, Amy, Chris and you.....are right. That part is the part of me that still struggles with Jesus's love and compassion. That part thinks on a human level. And that part just doesn't want to surrender. That part needs to be surgically removed.

Ya know - this was supposed to be a journey about discovering and learning how to honor God with my finances so my bank account doesn't dictate my life. This path is becoming so much more.

I hate it. :)


If you are still upset over that part hating you, here's a reason to hate me: I am a very liberal White Sox fan. And no, God.....I will NOT stop hating the Cubs.