What is it with God and His desire to make me look silly and dumb?
(Before you get offended - please read that above phrase as total tongue-in-cheek, and keep reading this post.)
Anyway - why does He do that? Is it some superiority complex? He has all this great power and just likes to do things to show He can? Geeez....
So you are probably wondering what I am talking about? Ok - let me give you three examples of God making me look stupid.
1) So I am out of work a few years back. Economy that was pretty much the same as now, except the gas prices were somewhat decent (insert roll eyes emote here). Well, I knew CCC was short a computer nerd, and come on - who wouldn't want to work there. So I thought about it and my wife and I prayed about it. Well - a couple months later, I get a call from CCC - CCC Information Services. Asked me about a job opening, set up and interview and well - here I am still, 3 years later. I honestly do not even recall applying here. I asked Aesop, and he says the moral is: "When you pray, be specific. God invented everything, and that includes humor."
2) Alright, so I work here at CCC in Itasca. About a 40 min drive daily (now you know why I talk about gas prices so much!), and that 40 min would be if you left about 3am. See, we have this thing called "rush hour". Ironic name, really, cuz "rush" is more a statement of feeling, not velocity, and the "hour" lasts 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the evening. Even Jackie Chan and Chris Rock cannot defeat this traffic. Anywho...I leave one day late. I mean late. I have about 45 min to get to work, and there is just no way it's gonna happen. I grumble as I drive, say "Man God, I really need to get to work on time" out loud, and then, under my breath I say "Yeah right - no way You can fix this."
Ummm......yeah. That wasn't so smart.
Well, I get on the expressway and there is very little traffic. The standard backup at the entrance ramp is non-existent. That happens once in a while, so I think "bonus". Well, I move from one expressway to another and that ramp is pretty empty. Sweeeeeeeet! The toll booth is not so crowded. Wow, this is awesome! A small backup out of the toll booth, but it clears pretty fast. Making good time. Come up to a standard backup area, and there isn't one. To top it off, there is actually two cars and a cop off on the shoulder because of a minor fender bender, and no gapers delay. This is weird, but who am I to complain. Hit the second toll booth in good time and sure enough, there is the other backup. But I can jump off at Army Trail and take the back roads. Make a couple lights and I am just cruising along. I come up to the light at the intersection of my building, glance and the clock and say "Holy crap, I'm gonna make it". (Ok...maybe not "crap", but you get the idea). Just then, on the radio, kicks in "Revolutionary Love" by David Crowder Band, which was the theme song of the current series at CCC. My shoulders shrug as I remember what I said under my breath as I was leaving the house. All I could do was look up and say "Man, You are good."
For the record, I do not say that just to get traffic off the roads.
3) So this past weekend. I am freaking about this bill and that. Man thing is a big payment we need to make on an older bill. Kath had setup a plain for the company to debit our account. As the weekend was approaching, I commented that we should only send them half cuz I am not sure we can make it. That's when I found out it was a debit and not a check we would be mailing.
So God likes making me look like an idiot. Ya know, if He is all-knowing, you would think He's astute enough to understand I need no help in that department, and make myself look like a fool just fine without His input.
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